Darin did most of the driving when he was alive. I was happy to be a passenger and watch the word go by. After he died I remember feeling confused and scared. Would I ever leave Ottawa? Going on a holiday or road trip alone suddenly seemed so daunting. I know that sounds silly, but at the time, I was seriously concerned that I would never have the confidence to go anywhere alone.
5 weeks after Darin died, I attended She’s Connected conference in Toronto. My friend Anna was driving and it was my first road trip to a conference and it felt amazing to get away and escape. I was leaving sadness and grief behind and going on an adventure with my blogging friends. Little did I know that was the start of my #kickassroadtrips. Baby steps……
A couple months later, I went to Blogher in NYC with a couple bloggers from Ottawa. We borrowed a minivan and took turns driving. I drove part of the way and felt so empowered! I felt confident and decided this was the start of something big. I felt like I was entering a whole new world. 5000 bloggers in NYC! I felt energized and I did not want to leave. For the first time in nearly a year, I felt normal and happy. Baby steps…..
Little did I know the trip to NYC would awaken a passion in me to go to conferences around North America. After driving part of the way to NYC, I figured I could drive to Toronto to visit my friends. Next, I drove in Chicago to attend Blogher…freaking Chicago! The next year I flew to San Francisco by myself. I met up with a friend and we navigated the go train, subway and cab system to get to San Jose. Baby steps…..
This past summer, Angele and I drove to NYC. I DROVE THROUGH THE CITY AT RUSH HOUR! The old Ann would have panicked at the thought but I DID IT! I had the cop whistling for me to turn, the light was turning red and 1,000 people decided to walk in front of my car while I was blocking the intersection. BUT I DID IT! If I can drive through that, I can drive anywhere. Baby steps……
Attending blogging conferences gave me my confidence back. I traveled to new cities, met new people, reconnected with old friends. I challenged myself in each city. I made myself go out and explore the city alone….again helping me gain confidence. Baby steps…..
Now, instead of fear and feeling like the walls are closing in on me, I am dreaming and planning my next adventure.
You see my friends, life does go on. When you feel like you can not get out of bed, when you feel like you are going to be unhappy forever, life does go on. It is up to you to do something about it. It is up to you to take baby steps and work towards your dreams. If I can do it, anyone can.
The blogging community is magical. We all blog for different reasons. We all blog with different goals in mind. I feel everyone should get the chance to experience attending a conference, meeting new friends and connecting IRL with online friends. I am so thankful for all the amazing friends I have met.
BConnected is a wonderful conference being held in Ottawa, April 23-24, 2016. It is an amazing intimate conference being organized by Lyne Proulx. I was a Community Outreach Ambassador last year and had a fantastic time. This year, I am the Social Media Director for the event. I am so thrilled to be working with Lyne and Sandi Allen on BConnected 2016. It am a bit scared to be helping in this capacity but baby steps…..
In keeping with the purpose of this series – I AM PAYING IT FORWARD!
In order to enter the draw, please leave a comment about one thing you fear and how you are going to take baby steps to change it. If you do not have any fears (lucky you!), then tell why you want to attend BConnected.
The lucky winner will be announced one Sept 4th during the BConnected Tweet up. Enter as many times as you want. The winner will be drawn randomly at the event.
Kicking Grief in the Ass – Day 1
Kicking Grief in the Ass – Day 2
Random stuff that I need to add about the giveaway:
Rules: Open to Canadian (except Quebec) and US residents 18 +. Unlimited number of daily entries. Prize does not cover travel or other expenses. You have 48 hours to reply by email once you are notified as the winner. If you don’t, we will draw another entry. Prize is non-transferable. No substitution or cash equivalent of prizes is permitted. The selected winner must correctly answer a mathematical question in order to win the prize mentioned above. Event will end on September 4th at noon. By entering this giveaway, you agree to the terms and conditions. No purchase is necessary to win and void where prohibited by law.
Ann
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orangeheromama says
Oh Ann, this post gave me goosebumps, and made me slightly teary.
You have come so far, how amazing! I have so many fears etc, and i try..the key as you say is baby steps. I am working on putting myself out there more. I am working on getting the courage to do a jobhunt again…even something as simple as applying for a job at tim hortons scares me. I need to have more faith in myself and just breathe!
orangeheromama recently posted…Random Pics from My BC Vacation – #wordlesswednesday (LINKY)
orangeheromama says
Oops!! and why i want to attend Bconn? I went to the last one and LOVED it!! (my koala from the swagbag even came with me on vacation! He’s in my last 2 posts! lol)
orangeheromama recently posted…Random Pics from My BC Vacation – #wordlesswednesday (LINKY)
Ann says
I agree about the Koala bear. He is sitting on my couch right now lol.
Ann says
I want to get a tattoo that says Just Breathe. It is something that I remind myself to do very often.
Jennifer Hunt says
I am afraid of speaking in public. My plan is to speak to a crowd by the end of this year.. maybe a small beauty talk or something
Ann says
A small talk sounds like a great way to conquer your fear.
Jenn says
I have a fear of large groups of people – one of the reasons I stick to the smaller conferences! I’m gradually working my way up to bigger ones though. Shame the dollar is sinking so low, it will make me not want to go to US conferences until it bounces back.
Ann says
I like the big conferences like Blogher but I also like small and intimate ones like BConnected. A great chance to connect with others.
Jenn says
I’d like to go to BConnected because it’s not a long ways away and there are a lot of great people there. 🙂
Jenn recently posted…Word Wednesday – In search of the ghost of Tom Thompson
Ann says
I hope to see you this year! It is a great conference.
Kyla @ Mommy's Weird says
Ugh, I don’t want to tell you what I fear. But, I do have a fear. And I am working on it, by getting my shit together and taking 1 little step at a time. Then usually at the end, I jump. And its scary as all hell. But, I feel good about it. I hope it works this time.
Ann says
Good for you for working on your fear!!!!
Bri says
Oh Ann, this post is amazing. Not your loss, obviously, which I am incredibly sorry about, but how you stepped up and took control. You felt the fear and did it anyway, which in turn has made you a much stronger person. We don’t really know each other but I am so proud of you!! Driving can cause HUGE anxiety for people, I have a few friends that can’t get behind a wheel.. but it truly equals freedom knowing you aren’t quarantined to your little spot on the globe. Well done 🙂
Bri recently posted…20 Easy Slow Cooker Meals for Busy Moms
Tammy B says
I have so many fears, the big one is not being around to see my daughter grow up. Anxiety takes over if I have to speak in public. I am working on it through videos, I just don’t like the way I sound.
I heard so much good about BConnected, it is the conference to Be At!!
Tammy B recently posted…Yes, I am older, but No, I am not her Gramma!!
Ann says
I do not like my voice either and I am very critical of how I sound. I hope to see you at BConnected this year.
Tabitha P says
Fears! Wow I have many, but I think I’ll focus on my blogging related fears, I have no issue going to new places or staying in a hotel room with complete strangers and interacting with strangers at conferences. Where my fears come in is thinking I am not good enough to do a particular campaign or contact a company to do a review. I have all these grandiose ideas but fail to implement them because I’m afraid I won’t write a good pitch or that they’ll say no. I’ve been a stay at home mom exclusively for about 9 years now and that time is coming to an end and now I am at a point where a decision needs to be made. This decision could make or break us. I fear making the wrong one. (ok so that is more than one fear, I really should write this stuff out haha)
Thanks for the chance to win a ticket to the conference, I absolutely LOVED the conference last year! 🙂
And congrats to you for facing your fears! You so adventurous now 🙂
Tabitha P recently posted…90 Minutes in Heaven Book #Giveaway #HopeLives #FlyBy
Ann says
It was great meeting you last year at BConnected and thank you for sharing your fears. I was a stay at home mom for 7 years so I know how scary the move can be.
Bri says
Oh geeze.. I didn’t even read the part about how to enter, I was just moved by the post lol. I honestly think my biggest fear is going to jail (for what I don’t know, I’m no criminal LOL) or any type of containment like that. I’m not sure it’s a fear I really need to work on though.. I also have a fear of the unknown.
I used to be terrified of bears! But I’ve been working on practical, logical thoughts when I’m in the bush and not letting anxiety get the best of me. I mean realistically, how often are people attacked by black bears in Ontario?! Not very often!!
Oh and BConnected? I want to attend because it’s the BOMB and I had to pass last year.
Congrats again on conquering your fear!!
Bri recently posted…20 Easy Slow Cooker Meals for Busy Moms
Ann says
I am so afraid of BEARS as well. You have no idea how afraid I am. I lived in Petawawa and there were bears in our backyard etc. My MIL had a bear visit her house a couple weeks ago. EEKKK!
Sarah De Diego says
Congratulations on making so many baby steps. Add them all together and you’ve made your way around the world.
I have a fair amount of fears, however, I know that worrying about them won’t make them not come true (or come true) so I acknowledge that they exist, try and mitigate the risk (if there is a risk) and move on. Life is too short to waste time worrying.
I hope to have the chance to meet with you at BConnected or even sooner.
Besos Sarah.
Sarah De Diego recently posted…Join the @HeritageFunds #HeritageB2S Twitter Party! $1,300 in Prizes, CAN, 8/19 9pmET RSVP
Ann says
You are so right Sarah. Life is too short to waste time worrying. Thank you for the reminder.
Aimee Geroux says
Ann you are a true inspiration! I was so honoured to have met you during Blogcation – can’t wait for next year!
I have never been to a conference let alone Ottawa! I would be over the moon to win a ticket and attend. I have so much to learn still as a blogger and learned so much during Blogcation – truly a fantastic well put together weekend!
I guess I have many fears. One is driving period. I’ve never had a licence and wish I could not have the extreme anxiety attacks I have when in a driver seat. I’m great as a passenger but when I get in the driver seat I seize up. As much as I’d love to overcome it I think it’s hereditary – my mom is the same way!
A fear that I am overcoming is with my new business. I recently started a children’s clothing and accessories business and it is launching in a few weeks. Website is being built, products being made and I am building up my social followings. My biggest fear when I came up with this idea was failure and it held me back from actually doing it for half a year. I finally grew a pair and said to myself “you’ll never know if you will succeed if you don’t try”. I didn’t allow myself to say “you’ll never know if you will fail if you don’t try” because that is negative and I keep telling myself every day that I can do this. Even if it is only on a small scale and never goes big, seeing little ones in my creations and my style will bring so much joy and a huge sense of accomplishment to me that it will be 100% worth it!
I think as humans we will always have some sort of fear and we are our own worst enemy. Artists critize their own work yet the buyer loves it and doesn’t see what the artist sees. We just need to allow ourselves to be scared, it’s a natural feeling and without fear there would be no overcoming it and feeling amazing!
Thanks so much for this opportunity!
Aimee Geroux recently posted…19 Back-To-School Lunch Ideas
Ann says
It was wonderful meeting you at Blogcation and thank you for your kind words. You are so right! We will always have some sort of fear and we are our own worst enemy. I know I am.
Elizabeth L says
I am afraid of talking on the phone. Especially when I get random phone calls. I think I am going to work at actually answering the phone when it rings – even when I don’t know someone is going to be calling ahead of time.
Elizabeth L recently posted…Paint Splatter Pineapple Home Decor
Ann says
I am not a big fan of talking on the phone and often let my calls go to voicemail. I would rather just text.
Jaymi says
Like you were , Im afraid to drive. In fact I don’t even have my license! I’m overcoming that fear by going for my G2 test at the end of the month 🙂
Ann says
Good luck! That is a huge step.
Sandy says
THIS is my favourite post yet, Ann! So inspiring, especially for all the people out there who are “afraid” to do something that scares them. After a few life changes myself I was forced to face many things that scared the you-know-what out of me – including driving myself around Ottawa on the busy roads and the highway. After conquering a few of those things, I feel like I could do anything (well..just about anything, lol). You’ve come a long way my friend! Here’s to many more great life-changing experiences. PS…as for driving in NYC…you totally win with that one. I would NOT even want to attempt that!
Sandy recently posted…99 Things To LOVE About The Ford F-150 Lariat SuperCrew®
Ann says
Thanks Sandy. Driving through NYC is not gonna happen again anytime soon. lol
Heather Lynne says
I have been wanting to go to a blogging conference for a long time but two things are holding me back. One is the cost and one is that it’s pretty scary to think of going when I haven’t met any bloggers in person before. That 2nd fear has improved because this year I was able to participate in a couple of campaigns where I met with other bloggers in person. I have since “met” a lot of Canadian bloggers through a Facebook group & am excited to feel like a part of this virtual community. I would LOVE to have the opportunity to attend a conference and meet more of these bloggers IRL and overcome that fear of going somewhere without having a “buddy” to go with! 😉
Ann says
The Canadian blogging community is amazing and I have met so many wonderful people. I hope you attend BConnected and we get to meet!
Shannon says
I agree with you on your second fear 🙂 but believe me it is short lived when you are surrounded by your virtual community irl.
Shannon recently posted…[Giveaway] Cordskinz Will Have You Living the Untangled Life
Ninja Mommers says
One of the things I fear the most is social situations like these and the pressure I feel when interacting with brands face to face. Bconnected helped me with those fears last year and although I was still anxiety ridden, I made it through and built my confidence. I hope to return for another amazing conference this year as now I know I can do it. Thanks so much for the chance!
Ninja Mommers recently posted…Netflix Back to School
Ann says
I hope you attend this year! It was a pleasure meeting you last year and hanging out with you. Plus you do cool tricks with your piercings lol.
Bonnie Way says
Good for you for taking those baby steps! Traveling by myself in strange cities also terrifies me. I’m good at second-guessing directions or where I’m supposed to be and then getting lost. Yet I also love the idea of seeing new places, so my excitement usually balances my fear. And just doing it, like you do, has helped me to get better at planning and navigating strange cities and overcoming that fear. I also love attending blogging conferences and meeting bloggy friends IRL. It’s hard to be scared about a new place when you’re meeting friends there!!! 🙂 So thanks so much for sharing your experience and for this AWESOME giveaway. 🙂
Bonnie Way recently posted…10 Back-to-School Movies
Ann says
I love the idea of seeing new places as well. So fun! I ask strangers for directions now. I never would have done that before.
Angèle @shoeboxbegone says
Oh, Ann, how I love this post. I saw our crazy adventures throughout and I’ve seen how far you’ve come each and every trip – big or small – we take.
The blogging community * is * magical, and we went from twitter friends to roadtrippers who had only ever met once in real life to one of the best friends a girl could have!
I dont know what I would do if you hadn’t been there for me as well. You’re a true gift.
As for driving in times square…. Honey you can do anything you want, you’ve got the balls to do it. You just have to let those balls drop and man-up ;). Cause when you are determined to accomplish something – big or small – you do it.
You’re an inspiration to all of us. Don’t ever stop kicking ass lady! xox
Angèle @shoeboxbegone recently posted…Dragons: Race To The Edge
Ann says
You are so sweet and the best road trip buddy. Cheers to many more #kickassroadtrip adventures. xo
Stacie says
I fear being on video! I’m SO shy so it’s definitely not in my comfort zone. I’m working on learning how to make videos and facing my fear head on.
Stacie recently posted…Win a Trip to Nashville!
Ann says
I am also afraid of video. I like to turn my head when I see someone taking photos or videos.
Liz M Raymond says
Anne, this post is beautiful. I remember when I met you two years ago at your first speaking event and how nervous you were. You did a great job and inspired me to reach out to you because I knew you had much to share. I knew I was right then and continue to see you blossom. I am blessed and grateful to have met you and am touched in the collaborative efforts we share.
My baby steps continue, although I have come a long way. I dream big and continue to walk through my fears… at times with the helps of great friends. My greatest fear that I continue to work on is failing in reaching my goal of helping single parents and their children in Ottawa when they need it most – getting the center off the ground.
I’ve done a bit of blogging and am working on creating two blogs – one for single parents and one to help businessess with their businesses. I had hoped to attend this year’s blogging conference but it was not in the cards. I believe this is a wonderful community of support, knowledge and sharing of experiences , and to be a part of that would be amazing.
Liz M Raymond recently posted…Creating a Community
Ann says
Thank you so much for your comment Liz. I am so exciting for The Gift Box Project and I can not wait to help others in the community. I am so glad that we met.
Dawn says
I have many fears…probably why I have an anxiety disorder 🙂 but one of my biggest is the Dentist. I know most people have some fear of the dentist but I am one of the extreme ones. Luckily I do have good strong teeth but I haven’t taken care of them properly in a very, very, very long time. Let’s just say each very in the previous sentence equals a decade. I went through a lot with my teeth as a kid so much of the fear stems from that but also personal space issues, confinement…the list goes on and on.
Then last week I had pain that I could no longer ignore in my mouth. After about 5 days of agony and many painkilers I faced facts that I had to go to the dentist. 24 hours of research into local dentistry I picked a clinic. I had to text my hubby to ask him to call and make an appointment. I couldn’t even call him without panicking.
One week and two days later I go today for my fourth appointment! There were some problems to deal with but the clinic is beyond awesome. Everyone is so nice and sweet. The first appointment they treated me with kid gloves knowing there were anxiety issues. Everything has been broken down into small appointments to keep the stress levels down although I do get stressed before I go but I am managing it. Today is fillings, extractions with laughing gas (which I have never had before) my anxiety levels are through the roof but I know that after today the pain will be gone and my teeth will be looking great!
So there is a fear I have faced down just this week!!
Hope to see you in September Ann at the tweet up! What about October? Will you be at Blue Mountain?
Ann says
The dentist is a huge fear for many people and I am so proud of what you have done to overcome it! No, I will not be at Blue Mountain as I am going to Florida for a reunion. I hope to see you at the tweet up. I want a hug!
Jessica says
I fear leaving my kids before it’s time. I don’t want to leave before they are grown and have kids of their own. I know it’s not really something I can fix or control either which sucks but I make sure they know everyday that they are my everything and that they are loved more than they can possibly know
Jessica recently posted…Learning to Listen: Mothering a Daughter #giveaway
Peady @ Tempered with Kindness says
You know… you really do kick ass, Ann! 😀
The Cape Bretoner in me thinks you friggin’ rock! 😉
Awesome!
Baby steps are the absolute best. I love them. They may be small, but no one knows but the walker just how much one little step holds within it. You GO!
Peady @ Tempered with Kindness recently posted…Everyone Needs To Know
Ann says
Thank you so much. I am trying my best to kick ass everyday. Some days are hard but I still try. xo
Carla says
I actually have a lot of fears, fear of failure, fear of being laughed at or doing something wrong, fear of public areas. A lot of is connected to my anxiety. I have been working hard in believing in myself, trying to push myself out of my comfort zone, gaining confidence in myself. I definitely still have good and bad days but the days are getting better.
Carla recently posted…Walk and Dream: The Canaccord Genuity Great Camp Adventure Walk #WalkForSickKids
Ann says
Thank you for sharing your fears Carla. I certainly understand about anxiety and how much it can control your life. I suffer from it as well and some days can be challenging.
Tammy B says
Spiders, now that’s a fear I have had since childhood.. yuck!! I don’t think I will ever overcome this one.. If I see one I squish it, otherwise I am up all night watching for it..
Tammy B recently posted…Yes, I am older, but No, I am not her Gramma!!
Ann says
I share your fear! I once had a spider crawl on me during the night and it was terrible……I could not fall back asleep.
Jessica says
I can’t wait to go to the tweet up on the 4th! I am excited to meet some of my wonderful blogger friends and I really want to attend the BConnected conference this year. I can only go to one this year and BConnected is the one I have chosen to work towards. From all of the amazing things I saw and read from last year’s conference it is the one I think will most benefit me and my blog
Jessica recently posted…Learning to Listen: Mothering a Daughter #giveaway
Ann says
I look forward to meeting you at the tweet up!!!!!!
Bonnie Way says
I keep hearing great things about the BConnected conference. Plus, it’s a Canadian conference! I went to BlogHer15 and that was my first big blogging conference… I had a lot of fun and learned a lot, but a lot of brands there don’t work with Canadians. So I think my next blogging conference will be in Canada to try to connect with more Canadian (or Canadian-friendly) brands and bloggers. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
Bonnie Way recently posted…Worst Cooks in America
Ann says
I went to Blogher as well and it was fun but yes, it is nice to attend conferences in Canada as well! Hope to see you there.
AlwaysARedhead says
When I was younger I had no fears at all about talking in front of three or more people, then something happened, and the thought just terrifies me. Last year I joined a book club, total strangers and slowly I worked on speaking in front of a group. Baby steps like you said.
AlwaysARedhead recently posted…Video of a porcupine in the wild
Ann says
Good for you! Sounds like you are conquering your fear.
Aeryn Lynne says
Your journey is absolutely inspiring, Ann! It makes me wonder why I let my fear get to me so much, but with your kickass living, I am going to work harder to nip this thing in the butt.
Though I’ve worked at it some already, I still have a true fear of being in front of video cameras. Worse, if I’m supposed to say something on them! I usually grab the camera for family functions, like bday parties, so that I can make sure I’m behind it. 😉
Aeryn Lynne recently posted…Find Melissa McCarthy Seven7 Exclusively at Penningtons in Canada!
Ann says
Thank you for your comment and for sharing your fears. I am also afraid of being in front of cameras. I have a hard time watching myself on film.
Shannon says
Great post my friend. You are braver than you give yourself credit for.
Good luck to all that enter!
Ann says
Thank you Shannon. xo
Tiffany Steadman-Collind says
I’m scared to leave my school I have been at for 11 years and start working in another one. I never thought I would be like this but add tomorrow gets closer I’m a wreck.
Tiffany Steadman-Collind says
Calling people tgat I don’t know is not something I do. When I started blogging and I was asked to call a PR firm I tried everything to contact through email…until the phone rang and my son pickedit up lol. I’m getting better but its a slow and steady race:)
Ann says
I am not a big fan of calling people either!
Bob Minhas says
Wonderful post Ann. Thank you for sharing. Judging my the number of people posting here, your word reach and help a lot of people. That makes you a pretty special person.
My biggest fear is the fear of failure. Amplified by the perception of my failure by others. And although not something unique, the fear of failure can cripple even the most mundane things in my life. Going out. Meeting new people. Trying new things. Being a better father.
Hitting enter to even share this post.
And to overcome that, I’ve had to take steps to work on the me inside before working on the me that everyone sees. Drop watching TV for reading. Spending more time being healthy from eating to exercise. And even changing my network of friends that I trust in my life.
To be quote honest, making those changes wasn’t the hard part. The hardest part has been keeping to those changes. So although I work on feeling more success in my life, its an everyday struggle for me.
Bob Minhas recently posted…Are you Focused? My goal to help you AND me in 2015!